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Sunday 19 June 2022

THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

now lies prostrate on our kitchen floor.

The PhD from Penn or wherever was not

so penetrating when faced with the bat, was it?

I dealt the blows and you drew the blinds.


It took both our strength to haul the body

to the bathroom. Bones can be tough to break –

I gave them a crack whilst you held the

bin liner open, tying the knot in the way


I’ve come to love. And after it was all over,

we both scrubbed the place clean with

disinfectant. You called the dude’s lab,

said he wouldn’t be in tomorrow; I drove us


into the night to dispose of the remains.

I suppose that bit was a bit of a pain, with us 

being afraid of the dark and all, but you are

my wife, I love you, and all else is bullshit.