Wednesday 26 April 2023
Tuesday 25 April 2023
The team that I support,
they never seem to win a match.
Our striker cannot score a goal.
Out keeper cannot catch.
Frustration, farce and failure
happens every single time.
Our manager’s a donkey.
It’s a dreadful pantomime.
The owner doesn’t care
because spectators always pay,
but I’m done with disappointment,
disaffection and dismay
so I’m tearing down my posters
and I’m ripping up my ticket.
My football days have been and gone.
I’m off to watch the cricket.
Monday 24 April 2023
I was going to write a poem
About the situation at Spurs
About all the incompetence
That routinely occurs
I was going to make it witty
With pithy observations
And it was going to go viral
Appealing to all generations
And it was also going to be written
In perfect rhyming meter
And when people read it
They’d think there’s nothing sweeter
But even though I’m a poet
And that is my profession
I found myself feeling lazy
And struggling for expression
So I came up with this rubbish
That’s really second rate
Something better may come along soon
But til then, you’ll have to wait
[Spurs sacked their manager, hired an interim manager, and then sacked the interim manager. Maybe they'll appoint me as their interim poet-in-residence]
Wednesday 19 April 2023
Sunday 16 April 2023
On my MA
a bloke with a PhD
and several books under his belt
said never to write a poem
containing the following words:
shards; crepuscular; liminal; preternatural; cerulean; verdant; dappled.
He also proclaimed it
the height of laziness
and indicative of
a total lack of imagination
to write a poem
about the process
of writing a poem.
I guess I won’t be submitting this
Thursday 13 April 2023
now lies prostrate on our kitchen floor.
The PhD from Penn or wherever was not
so penetrating when faced with the bat, was it?
I dealt the blows and you drew the blinds.
It took both our strength to haul the body
to the bathroom. Bones can be tough to break –
I gave them a crack whilst you held the
bin liner open, tying the knot in the way
I’ve come to know. And after it was all over,
we both scrubbed the place clean with
disinfectant. You called the dude’s lab,
said he wouldn’t be in tomorrow; I drove us
into the night to dispose of the remains.
I suppose that bit was a bit of a pain, with us
being afraid of the dark and all, but you are
my wife, I love you, and all else is bullshit.
Saturday 1 April 2023
SHY by Harry, Year 3
Shy is talking to unknown people
Shy is birds when they fly up in the brilliant blue sky
Shy is when fog surrounds the place
Shy is all about people
Shy is when I see people and get near them
Shy is just everywhere
Shy is nothing you hear of
Shy is what you feel
And it’s not a good feeling