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Sunday 30 October 2022


What is the matter with Leaky Sue?

Her sense is amiss, her morals askew

You give her a secret, it trickles straight through 

At running the country she hasn’t a clue

What is the matter with Leaky Sue?

The meanest of fiends she will strive to outdo 

You hand her a brief and a mess will ensue 

She hasn't the wit of a stick of bamboo

What is the matter with Leaky Sue?

There’s not been a less fit MP hitherto 

The fungus will grow and the rot will accrue

So let us endeavour to cook up a coup 

What is the matter with Leaky Sue?

She dreams of a flight to Rwanda or two 

She’s no good for me and she’s no good for you 

The size of her brain could be labelled ‘bijou’

What is the matter with Leaky Sue?

She babbles and blabbers to all of her crew

The end of this poem now hoves into view

But, just like Leaky Sue, it is rather unsatisfactory.

Suella Braverman, the Home Secretary as of 31/10/22, is known as 'Leaky Sue' because she spills classified documents on the regular. 

Thursday 20 October 2022


My hands are in pain

and my toes have gone numb.

My abdomen’s aching

along with my bum. 

I’m decked out in layers

of jumpers and shirts.

I’m wrapped up in scarves.

Every part of me hurts.

My head is an ice cube. 

My nose is red raw.

I’ve socks on my feet 

but they won’t seem to thaw.

Although my chin’s chilly

along with my cheeks,

the heating can wait

for another few weeks...

Thursday 13 October 2022

Let's Hear It

for all those men still sporting combovers.

Too long maligned as insecure tricksters

and follicular con-artists, let’s rectify

this grave injustice. See how those wisps flail

in the wind – let’s appreciate their determination

doggedly to cling. Hark at the hint of scalp

poking through –it threatens a coup but won’t

be given in to. And behold the man himself,

whether hunched heavily into his bones

or standing tall and proud, a veritable soldier

is he, gripping tenaciously to what a lesser man

might let slip by. So let’s hear it for him

and his humbly heroic hairdo: a steadfastly

singular signal that chucking in the barber’s towel

shall not be in his purview!

Wednesday 12 October 2022

Adverb Poems from Year 5, Aberdour School

Here is an interesting idea for a poetry workshop. Ask each student to write down an activity that they enjoy doing. Next, ask them to write down a list of adverbs associated with that activity. They could be as wacky and imaginative as they like. Finally, each student can use their adverbs as the starters for each line in their poem. You can model this first, encouraging poetic and imaginative language. Here are some lovely examples, written by Year 5 pupils during my recent visit to Aberdour School, Surrey. Check em out!

How To Ride a Horse by Brooke


Jumping higher than I have ever jumped before


Speeding around as fast as I can 


Trotting around the woods going nice and slow 


Walking around to finish the ride 


Falling off after refusing to do a jump


Being eliminated from a big competition


Standing up on the horse’s saddle 

How To Do Gymnastics by Fay 


Flipping and tumbling across the floor 


Letting the adrenaline whoosh over you 


Dancing across the floor witha wide grin on your face 

How To Dance by Isabelle

Gracefully, I dance like a beautiful swan on the lake 

Angrily, stomping around when you are meant to be light on your feet

Stupidly, messing about when everyone else is doing the right thing 

Sadly, hurting your head when you are in a competition

Happily, doing the right thing and smiling 

What It’s Like To Sketch name omitted


With gentle movements

of the pencil 


Forgetting about all worries

and everything around you


Shaping the fragments of the picture,

bringing everything together 


Correcting the mistakes 

How To Annoy Your Little Brother by Lia 

Slyly, carefully making sure 

No one can see

The horrid trick you’re playing

Happily, tickling him

Until his tummy

Is sore 

Loudly and mischievously, 

Helping everyone

To release the tension

Monday 10 October 2022

National Poetry Day Poems from Moat Farm Junior School

I have been an Official Ambassador for National Poetry Day since 2016. I was really excited when Ms Wilding from Moat Farm Junior School got in touch to say that her school would be holding a poetry competition. This year's theme for National Poetry Day was 'the environment', and I am delighted to be able to share the four winning poems from Moat Farm on my blog. Everyone involved should be very proud of themselves!

Yellow 6’s Poem

Lucious expanses of greenery once carpeted my land,

Where animals roamed freely and forests could expand.

The temperature was cool, allowing our planet to flourish and grow,

We would have looked after you, if we had known now what we know.

Watching ice caps melt fills me with remorse,

What did the polar bears do for the world to go so off course?

Arctic animals wasting away,

Will they live to see another day?

All the trees of the rainforest are being cut down,

Making me sorrowful, causing a frown.

Endangered species losing their home,

Leaving them isolated, fearful and all alone.

Looking out at the once glistening, majestic sea,

Now filled with plastic, what has happened to me?

Coral, that was once vibrant, is now fading away,

A fear of dread haunts me each and every day.

What did l do to deserve this? How could we let the world fall apart?

Every inch of the environment that flounders, breaks a piece of my heart.

What will become of me? Will I simply waste away?

I plead Rescue me, I implore before, we become one giant weed.

Blue 3’s Poem 

My name is save petrol and diesel

Only electric driving for me

My name is feed the black magpies

So that they bring me good luck

My name is feed the beautiful robins

So they can fly in the clear, blue sky

My name is clean the seven seas

So the fantastic fish can swim happily

My name is give the pretty daisies clean, fresh water

So I can make seven daisy chains

My name is pick up all the dirty rubbish

To make the world clean and tidy

My name is look after the little bluebells

So I can pick them for my gorgeous mum

My name is pine tree

To make the world pretty and nice

My name is feed the bright and colourful parrots

So that they can talk to me

My name is water

Keeping the planet healthy

My name is save the ocean

So we can swim with dolphins

My name is clean up the plastic

To save the Galapagos turtles

My name is keep school tidy

So we can run, jump and play

The Future of our Garden (by Yellow 5)

Pulling on our wellington boots,

Stumbling past forest school, over tree roots,

A gardening club adventure awaits,

Sunhats at the ready or umbrellas just in case.

Trowels at the ready and watering cans in hand,

An army of helpers to cultivate the land,

Spring bulbs need planting,

Let weeding commence,

Our bodies unwinding, our shoulders less tense.

Digging with shovels through muddy soil,

Harvesting Sandwell’s biggest Carrot – it’s blood, sweat and toil.

We’ve got garlic, onions, tomatoes and peas,

Mr Adams’s giant pumpkin and fruit on the trees.

A solitary fox wandering around,

A million invertebrates hiding below ground,

The little red robin perching on an icy fence,

He’d migrate to summer climates if he had any sense,

The year is 2122, a hundred years have gone by,

Each passing year a new record temperature high,

Once there were carrots, now we have varieties of grape,

No more cabbages, oranges instead – it’s a transformed landscape.

Where once there was grass, only desert remains,

Wildfires ravage, our garden’s in flames,

Wildlife’s disappeared – the robin’s here no longer,

We have geckos instead, you probably think I scaremonger.

I do not jest, this tragedy is real,

It’s time to take action, our planet we must heal,

Plant trees, recycle rubbish and stop burning fossil fuels,

Spread the word, tell your friends, don’t stop till the world cools!

Changes (Red 4)

Long, long ago the Earth was full of life,

Full of life until humans expanded…

They ripped away habitats and homes,

They only care about their mobile phones,

They ripped away the trees,

They messed up the seas,

They ripped away animal’s lives,

They cut through it like a tray of knives.

So stop, please, stop or it will end up like knot,

I am just repeating this in case you forgot,

We are nearly out of time,

Some of your actions have been a crime,

But it is not too late to change our fate,

If you start today.

Tuesday 4 October 2022

Brilliant Year 3 Poem, from The Perse Prep School

Yesterday I was lucky enough to visit the wonderful Perse Prep School in Cambridge. I was especially struck by the following poem, written by a pupil in Year 3. By special request, I am not using the pupil's name, but will instead refer to her as L. Here, then, is L's tremendous poem: 


As empty as a forest 

As dark as white

As hot as snow

As light as night 

As dry as the sea

As wet as fire

As cold as warm tea

As honest as a liar 

As sad as a clown

As disgusting as chocolate

As happy as a frown

As yummy as a spider!

here is me signing some books during my visit!