For lots more exciting info about me, please go to my main home - www.joshuaseigal.co.uk

Tuesday 29 December 2020

EVIDENTLY COVID TOWN (AFTER JOHN COOPER CLARKE)

The bloody plague is bloody here

We’re bloody filled with bloody fear

The bloody schools ain’t bloody shut

While bloody cronies bloody glut

Their bloody pockets full of dosh

We’re underneath the bloody cosh

And bloody sense it can’t be found

Anywhere in Covid Town

 

Their bloody test and bloody trace?

A bloody waste of bloody space

We bloody cough and bloody die

And bloody SAGE know bloody why

And bloody Gavin bloody knows

And still the bloody schools won’t close

And Boris wears his bloody crown

And shits on those in Covid Town


The bloody stakes are bloody large

A bloody twat’s in bloody charge

Their bloody plans have bloody holes

They bloody gaslight all us proles

They bloody flout the bloody rules

They still won’t shut the bloody schools

It’s bloody fully of bloody clowns...

Evidently Covid Town



...Inspired by John Cooper Clarke. Here he is reading his famous poem 'Evidently Chickentown





Monday 28 December 2020

DISEASY LOVER

I love to gaze in wonder

at the smoothness of your skin

so discard your old pyjamas;

toss those panties in the bin

and don’t bother putting socks on

since I long to see your toes,

but please be sure you don’t forget

to shield your mouth and nose.


You can show off the complexion

of your taut and healthy thighs

and the freckles on your neck

are not in need of a disguise.

No your ankles do not rankle

and I’m thankful for their grace,

but please be sure to cover up

the bottom of your face.


You can leave you hair unveiled,

I adore its silky lustre;

I’m imploring you to flaunt yourself

with all that you can muster

but I’ve merely one entreaty,

if it’s not too much to ask:

as you prepare to share your wares

be sure to don your mask.


Wednesday 23 December 2020

SANTA GOT THE RONA

Santa’s got the ‘rona.

He won’t be popping round.

He’s spluttering and coughing

and his temperature’s profound.


Yes Santa’s got the ‘rona.

He’s simply not himself.

It seems to be that he just isn’t

in the best of elf



Thanks so much to Elizabeth Read, who got in touch with me via Facebook and drew the fab picture above. 







Tuesday 22 December 2020

BUBBLE UP

I wanna bubble up with you

Cuddle up with you

Spend some time through this trouble

Muddled up with you


I wanna huddle in with you

See this struggle through

Find my way in this grimness

And grin with you


I wanna go to ground with you

Hunker down with you

Share a bunk and be wound round

And bound to you


I wanna live in digs with you

Eat like pigs with you

Share a big bottle

Taking swigs with you


I wanna bubble up with you

Snuggle up to you

Share my love

Through the strain

And the hope

And the pain with you


I wanna bubble up with you

If you’ll bubble up with me too


Monday 21 December 2020

MUTANT VIRUS!

Mutant virus

Growing quickly

Mutant virus

Makes you sickly

Mutant virus

Come to get you

Mutant virus

Will upset you

Mutant virus

Oh so hideous

Mutant virus

Quite perfidious

Mutant virus

Where’d it come from?

Mutant virus

We must run from!

Mutant virus

Can’t ignore this

Virus by the

Name of ‘Boris’

Saturday 19 December 2020

AMAZING POEMS FROM ASHBOURNE PRIMARY, DERBYSHIRE

 I was lucky enough to run an online workshop with Year 6 at Ashbourne Primary School in Derbyshire. The workshop consisted of a recently devised idea: I asked each pupil to think of an emotion, and then to think about what animal might best represent it. The resulting poems were simply amazing, and it is such a pleasure to be able to share a selection of them now. (You might have to zoom in a bit for full visibility)







Wednesday 16 December 2020

ANIMAL/EMOTIONS POEMS FROM YEAR 9

 Last week I was very excited to run a workshop with a small group of Year 9 students at JCoSS (Jewish Community Secondary School) in East Barnet. I was a bit nervous about this one, because it was an idea I'd only very recently devised, so I was curious to see how it would go. Thankfully, it seemed to go well! The idea was this. I asked everyone to pick an emotion, and I then asked to following question: if your emotion was an animal, which animal would it be? I gave the students ten minutes or so to describe their animal in as much detail as possible, using interesting descriptions and vocabulary, along with their five senses. Once they had this bank of ideas, I then shared my poem The Tiger with them, which you can read here. The challenge was then to write the first draft of a poem, about their own animal. I am delighted to be able to share with you three poems. Two were written by students (who has only about ten to fifteen minutes to complete this task), and the third was written by their teacher, Miss Williams. (I love it when teachers get involved!). Feast your eyes on these beauties:

The Leopard of Fury by Daniel


Take one more step

The leopard of fury will chase after you

From the morning to the night

From the darkness to the light


Take one more glance

The leopard of fury will stare deeply

Into your eyes looking for fury

The fury within you


The leopard of fury will never hesitate

To unleash her fury


The leopard of fury will never hesitate

To make you vanish truly


For there is fury in everyone

Me

The leopard

And you


The Snake of Fear by Harry


Slithering through the blades of grass

She stares at you

She seeks fear among you

Her scaly back sharpens

As she comes closer

Nearer to your face

Her evil jaws open wide

Her venomous tongue reaches out

And she gives you

A kiss


The Swan of Love by Miss Williams (teacher)


Smooth

Curve of the feather...


and here it gets embarrassing: I can't read Miss Williams' writing!! I will let her own words speak for themselves:



Tuesday 8 December 2020

DARREN SARDELLI - INTERVIEW AND POEM

Several years ago, long before I had anything of note published, Brian Moses was magnanimous to feature a couple of poems by me on his blog. Well now I have a blog of my own, and I'm honoured to feature today a poet whose work I very much admire. Darren Sardelli writes poetry with scarcely a single syllable missplaced. He lives in America, and visits lots of schools where, like me, he helps spread the joy of poetry, performance, words and creativity. I got in touch with Darren to ask him a few questions. Here you go: 

How did you become interested in poetry?

Before I was a junior in college, I thought poetry was boring. I didn't want to read it. I had no interest in writing it. If someone told me I was going to write poetry for a living, I would have called them crazy. It was the last thing on my list and I didn't care for it at all. Everything changed when I rediscovered Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein at a later age. After reading some of their stories and poems, I was intrigued and inspired by their humor, imagination, and silliness. These 2 authors are the reason I started writing. Their words unlocked my imagination and helped me find my voice.

What are the best things about visiting schools as a poet?

I love visiting schools! My assemblies and writing workshops have become very popular in the United States. When I perform a poem, I create a unique experience for my audience by generating a particular feeling, reaction, or emotion. I love it when students laugh at my poems. It's one of the best feelings in the world. My most favourite thing, though, when I visit a school, is seeing students enjoying poetry. Many teachers have told me that my poems have helped their students become better writers. It's nice to hear.

You call your website 'laugh a lot poetry', but has a poem ever made you cry?

Interesting question. I've written some pretty emotional poems that I haven't shared with anyone. A few of them have made me cry. When we write about our feelings, we're getting them out of our system. Writing can be a healthy outlet to release built-up emotions. When I write about something that bothers me, I usually feel better.

What advice would you give to budding poets?

If you don't have an Idea Book, strat one right away. Decorate your book, put a pencil in it, and keep it next to your bed. Write down as many ideas as you can each day. If you want to become a better poet, study your favourite poets and write as often as you can. The more you write, the better you'll get. Also, read your poems to teachers, parents, and friends. Use their feedback to make your poems better. No matter what, though, just keep writing!

Do you have a favourite animal?

I'm fascinated by kangaroos. Imagine being a kangaroo for a day. I'd hop everywhere!

If you could go back in time to any period of history, where would you go?

It'd be fun to meet my grandfather, Paul, who passed before I was born. I heard he was one of the most patient, kindest, loving people in the world. We'd have lunch, chat, and enjoy the day.

Fun Fact: My middle name is Paul.

Here is an awesome poem by Darren. Enjoy:

THE LETTER “A”

by Darren Sardelli

 

The letter A is awesome!

It simply is the best.

Without an A, you could not get

an A+ on a test.

You’d never see an acrobat

or eat an apple pie.

You couldn’t be an astronaut

or kiss your aunt goodbye.

An antelope would not exist.

An ape would be unknown.

You’d never hear a person

say “Afraid” or “All Alone”.

The A’s in avocado

would completely disappear

and certain words would be forgot

like “ankle”, “arm”, and “ear”.

 

Without the A, you couldn’t aim

an arrow in the air.

You wouldn’t ask for apricots

or almonds at a fair.

Aruba and Australia

would be missing from a map.

You’d never use an ATM,

an apron, or an app.

The arctic fox and aardvark

would be absent from the zoo,

and vowels, as you know them,

would be E, I, O, and U.

There wouldn’t be an A chord

on the instruments you play.

Let’s appreciate, admire,

and applaud the letter A!

Monday 7 December 2020

MUSIC FOR THE ZOOMED-OUT GENERATION

If your uncle’s being annoying

Stick on mute

If your aunt is being cloying

Stick on mute

Yes if people are deploying

lots of words you’re not enjoying

and your balance they’re destroying

Stick on mute!


If your dad is being racist

Stick on mute

If your mum is being tasteless

Stick on mute

If your family is graceless

saying shit that has no basis

click the button so they’re faceless

and on mute!


If your colleagues are pernicious

Stick on mute

If your boss is truly vicious

Stick on mute

If your workmates seem suspicious

that you’ve left to do the dishes

Well let them sleep with the fishes

while on mute!


Yes if people aren’t your bag

Just stick on mute.

And if chatting makes you gag

Just stick on mute

If everything’s a drag

and you’d rather read a mag

or else go and smoke a fag

(or even have a shag...)

Stick on mute! Stick on mute! Stick on mute!