For lots more exciting info about me, please go to my main home -

Sunday, 12 June 2022

a poem about joining TikTok (follow me @joshuaseigal)


So I’ve gone and done it

In my mid 30s

Finally down with the kids

Does anyone say that anymore?

‘Down with the kids’?

Or are there now phrases I’ve never heard before


‘Hangin’ by the dongle’ 


‘On the half-banana’ 


‘Fully Helsinki’?

Anyway, I’ve done it

Joined TikTok

And I’ve no clue what to do now

Colourful things are flying at me from all sides 

I’m hearing all kinds of unfamiliar noises

And I feel like I’ve entered some kind of alternative reality 

A reality that has propelled itself forward with jetpacks while I wasn’t looking

While I wasn’t even aware 

While I wasn’t even aware that I wasn’t even aware

And it all feels…


And suddenly I think I understand

What Old People mean

When they talk of what things were like in ‘their day’

And how their neighbourhoods are different from when they were little

And how the buses have changed

And the supermarkets have changed

And you can’t pay for things in cash anymore 

And there are more than four channels 

I understand now how the things I take for granted 

Are alien to those who came before me 

Those who now feel like they’re barely hanging on

Because that’s how I feel now

In the land of the TikTok

The land of zaps and zooms and flashes and colours

And I tell myself I’ll try to swim

I promise I will

I’ve dipped the tip of my toe in this weird kaleidoscopic sea

And I will soon try to swim

When I next open the app

Whenever that may be