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Thursday 21 July 2022


I don’t really like you. (I love you.)

I’m not impressed. (I’m in awe.)

You’re not my friend. (You’re my BFF.)

You’ve not made the grade. (You’ve done more.)

I don’t think you’re pretty. (You’re stunning.)

I can’t say you’re good. (You’re elite.)

You’re not very bright. (You’re blinding.)

You’re simply not nice. (You’re a treat.)

I don’t want you. (I need you.)

I don’t think you’re kind. (You’re a saint.)

You’ll never be cool. (You’re on fire.)

You’re my wife. (& I have no complaint.)


[clarification: this is a poem about my wife, Carrie, not Boris Johnson's wife, who is also called Carrie. A couple of people got in touch to express confusion.]