LEADERSHIP CONTEST

Your dad, your nan, the guy next door

The bloke who runs the general store

Your best mate’s wife from Ecuador —

Everyone’s going for PM. 

Churchillian manqués spouting crap

Nonentities who like to yap

The girl who’s on the till at Gap —

Everyone’s going for PM.

The slug, the lizard and the snake

The sharp of elbow, on the take 

Your neighbour’s cat, your cousin Jake – 

Everyone’s going for PM.

The chancers in the local boozers

Scammers, spammers, spaffers, schmoozers

Rancid crowds of bloody losers – 

Everyone’s going for PM.

A wink, a smirk and a bit of swag 

Old gammon wrapped in a union flag 

They’re all just rats in a paper bag – 

Everyone’s going for PM.