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Friday 8 April 2022

SICK NOTE (after Spike Milligan)

My neck has grown another head. 

My tongue is turning green. 

Fluorescent goo is oozing

from my liver and my spleen. 


A horn has sprouted on my chest. 

My feet have fallen off.

My nostrils let out noxious vapours

every time I cough. 


My eyeballs have gone hairy

and my hair has all turned pink.

My legs are elongating

while arms begin to shrink.


I think I’ll need to go to bed.

My health has gone downhill.

You should have let me stay off school – 

I told you I was ill.