You can do a lot of things whilst crying

You can get out of bed

Read in bed

Have a shower

Listen to the radio

Eat something

Drink something

Go for a walk

Go to work 

Call a friend

Call an enemy

Count backwards from 2,398

Take the toothpaste out the tube and replace it with peanut butter

Pretend to vaporise ants using nothing more than a squint

Read the Bible

Clean the kitchen 

Wash your underwear

Remove all the yellow Smarties from the packet then put them back again

Become a Buddhist 

Acquire a penchant for figs

Develop an allergy to figs

Retire

Start a new job

Cross out all the days in your diary except for Wednesdays

Learn to speak Russian

Learn to speak Russian backwards

Learn to walk backwards whilst looing forward

Pay your tax bill

Rob a bank 

Become semi-competent at meteorology

Become a milk sommelier 

Speak in stilted Mandarin to the President of the USA

Be the President of the USA

Entertain a class of three-year-olds

Raise pigeons

Raise the dead 

Raise income tax 

Travel to Nicaragua in a hot air balloon 

Annex Nicaragua

Change a dirty nappy

Fumble for change 

Demand change 

Change yourself

Change your diet

Change your wife 

Keep everything exactly at is is

Blow your nose 

Just be serious for a second 

Be serious for two seconds

Now three

Now four

Pretend things are OK

Put on your suit and tie

Kiss your wife/husband/mum/dad/dog goodbye

All of the above

Live

Laugh 

Love 

Joshua Seigal

(this poem was inspired by Caroline Bird)