My liver doesn’t like you
My ventricles are telling you to get lost
The blood running through my veins thinks the T-shirt
you are wearing is crap
My tendons will steal your girlfriend
My stomach lining sends vindictive tweets about you
My prostate gland said your mum is a bitch
Some of my cartilage is mildly racist
My skin nabbed twenty quid from your wallet the other day
My hair turns up at parties with an obnoxiously cheap bottle of wine
and is then sick on your carpet
My fingernails spread rumours about what you did
on holiday in Mykonos
My appendix has been using your Netflix account on the sly
My gallbladder poisoned your cat
My scrotal sac is a total git
But I don’t have a nasty bone in my body.
