'My version of Paul Lyalls"s poem Sellotape ( 'A Funny Thing Happened"
(Caboodle Books).
Send out a search party!
Send out a crew!
I have a predicament -
what shall I do?
It’s driving me crazy.
I’ve gone round the bend.
I have stick tape
and I can’t find the end!
I’ve looked high and low
and I’ve looked all around.
I’ve swam through the ocean.
I’ve crawled on the ground.
I’ve called a detective
who donned a black cape
but could not find the end
of the damned sticky tape.
Of course I've cursed coarsely.
I’m hoarse with inveigling,
searching the edge of
that round, sticky bagel thing.
This is a duff one!
This MUST be a con!
The end of the sticky tape -
where has it gone?
My eyes have gone crossed
and my skin has gone green.
My muscles have bulged
through my shirt and my jeans.
I howl and I growl
and I yowl like an ape:
“YOU MAY AS WELL ASK ME
TO PEEL A GRAPE!”
I can’t find the end
of the sticky tape.
