I’d have a drink or several
as I sit atop a crane,
I’d stand alone with glass in hand
out in the pissing rain,
I’d sip on some tequila
as I dance to dodgy tunes,
but I’d never, no I’d never,
no I’d never drink in Spoons.
I’d gulp a can of cider
with a beggar in a skip,
I’d have some rum with pirates
in the crow’s nest of their ship,
I’d quaff some Jagermeister
with a gang of raving loons,
but I’d never, no I’d never,
no I’d never drink in Spoons.
I’d have a dram in prison
with a robber and a thief,
I’d wallow in a cesspit
with a nice aperitif,
I’d share a Bloody Mary
with a pair of crazed baboons,
but I’d never, no I’d never,
no I’d never drink in Spoons.
With alcoholic drinks
there’s isn’t much I wouldn’t do,
I’d bathe in degradation
for a simple pint or two
but I’d rather get my knackers chewed
by furious raccoons
just so long as I would never
have to have a drink in Spoons!
Grade-A Pillock, Above
