Some of you play football
and some others act or sing,
but if you want to moonlight
then we know of just the thing
to gain more recognition
and a bit of extra quid:
It’s really rather obvious —
just write a book for kids.
It doesn’t really matter
if you cannot hold a pen,
nor if the typing of a word
is quite beyond your ken.
Just spew out some ideas
and we’ll come and jot them down;
we’ll stick you on the cover
and you’ll be the toast of town.
Nor does it make a difference
if the plot is rather slight.
We’ll make the letters bigger
and put pictures left and right.
We’ll print your name in sparkles
and you’ll wear a golden crown
as kiddies crowd around your pap
and gobble it right down.
Yes we know you’re very famous
and already have it made.
There may be better writers
and they may be poorly paid.
We pray for these unfortunates;
our thoughts, meanwhile, are thus:
we’ll make you lots of money
and you’ll make some more for us.
