Having suffered with anxiety my whole life, a few years ago I diagnosed myself as having OCD. I am now less certain of the necessity to attach a label to the kind of suffering I go through, and feel that, whilst it may be useful in enabling me to have access to some techniques to help me deal with my condition, it also somewhat obscures the fact that I (along with everyone else) am in a unique situation with my own personal set of circumstances. Do labels help or hinder us? I don't know. Maybe both.
Be that as it may, living with my specific brand of anxiety is like living with a political opponent lodged in my head. Sometimes this opponent masquerades as a true friend, and sometimes it sounds like the bitterest of bullies. It is very hard to differentiate the voice of this opponent from the voice within that represents my authentic self. Given this, I have found, with the help of reading and therapy, that it is to a large extent down to me which voice I wish to identify myself with. A really empowering technique is to write statements in which one gives oneself permission to do, think and say certain things. Wherever one looks one can find evidence to potentially back up the opponent in one's head (I wonder if the internet has contributed to a large degree of mental distress in this respect); what can be very useful is to counteract such 'evidence' using the sheer force of one's will. With this in mind, here are some 'permission statements' I have come up with for myself. I reserve the right to add, delete and amend at will. You can read the list as a poem if you like, but you don't have to.
I Give Myself Permission To...
be my own expert
think for myself, or not think if I don't want to
accept uncertainty
be wrong sometimes
not do what I don't want to do
pick and choose
love who and how I want
not damage my relationships or be cruel
take risks sometimes
not take risks at other times
live according to my values, not someone else's
not follow advice if I don't want to
be in charge of myself
not be perfect
not listen to voices that seem unkind or punitive
be OK as I am
have it both ways
go against the grain of the mainstream
be a maverick
outfox 'experts'
embrace paradox
give and withhold as I choose
not have all the answers
transcend labels
