Experiential Learning

There’s a lemur on my lunchbox,

a bonobo on my book;

there’s a snake inside my pencil case – 

just come and have a look!

There’s a rhino on my rucksack 

and a chimp upon my chair; 

there’s a panther with my paper

prowling proudly to its lair.

A chinchilla nabbed my dinner;

an alpaca my protractor!

A hyena, looking meaner,

got so close I nearly whacked her!

There’s a tiger on my tabletop

(I promise you it’s true) 

and a cheetah ate my teacher

in our lesson at the zoo.

Joshua Seigal

Fantasitc poems from Primrose Class!

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of leading a poetry workshop on Zoom, with the wonderful Primrose Class. Their teacher subsequently got in touch to ask if I would take a look at a poetry book that the class had made. I was delighted when it popped through my front door this morning. I can tell how hard the pupils worked on their poems, and it's my great pleasure to be able to share a selection on my blog. Enjoy!!

I Cannot Write a Poem

I cannot write a poem. 

It’s something I can’t do. 

To say I am incapable

is definitely true. 

I do not have proficiency. 

I lack the brains and skill. 

Whenever I sit down to type

it always goes downhill. 

Yes, poetry’s beyond me. 

Ineptitude’s my curse. 

I can’t create a simple rhyme

or write a single verse. 

I frankly cannot do it,

however hard I try. 

I didn’t write this poem – 

it was written by AI.

Joshua Seigal  

Uncle Ian's Car

Dad wakes me up in the middle of the night. 

He hoists me out of bed. We go outside. 

Uncle Ian has a new car. 

He sits me in the driver’s seat. 

That’s the gear stick. There’s the clutch. 

He isn’t sure what this button does.

Later that night, I lie in bed. 

Ian and Dad, they’re talking downstairs. 

Slowly, softly, sleep takes over – 

I’m driving on rainbows,

the clouds in my hair.

Joshua Seigal

Summer

I wake up, and the cat

is lying on my wife’s head.

It’s 5am, and they’re lying there,

both asleep, my wife’s hair

in her face and the cat curled up.

Life doesn’t get much better than this –

the dawn sun stretching her arms wide,

and those gentle breaths beside me,

exhaling nothing but love.

Joshua Seigal

YOU BET!

(Tories face betting scandals, June 2024) 

Did they ruin the nation? YOU BET!

Was there huge devastation? YOU BET!

Did they cause conflagration

And lethal mutation

Throughout their duration? YOU BET!

Did they lie, cheat and steal? YOU BET!
Was their rule an ordeal? YOU BET!
Did their tenure reveal 

A sleaze so unreal

We’ll reject them with zeal? YOU BET!

Are they on their way out? YOU BET!
Have they lost all their clout? YOU BET!
Will it soon come about

That they’re facing a rout?

Let us all give a shout of YOU BET!

Joshua Seigal 

Reform UK - list of candidates

Has your Reform UK candidate ever done or said anything dodgy? Why not have a look through is abercedarian poem, and find out!

THOSE REFORM UK CANDIDATES IN FULL 

A is for Andy who once kicked a dog 

B is for Brenda, a true demagogue

C is for Charlie who liked racist tweets

D is for Dave, spreading hate in the streets

E is for Ethel who praised the SS

F is for Fred, in blackface fancy dress

G is for George, saying ‘Hitler was right’

H is for Herbert who isn’t that bright

I is for Ian, who once smacked a kitten

J is for Jack – you should see what he’s written!

K is for Kate, who blames boats for her woes

L is for Liam in Sieg Heil pose

M is for Martin who hates immigration

N is for Norman who fights for his nation

O is for Oliver, red in the face

P is for Polly who’s saving her race

Q is for Quentin who screamed ‘Communist!’ 

R is for Robbie who always seems pissed

S is for Simon who once slapped a sheep 

T is for Tom, cursing Blacks in his sleep 

U is for Ursula, reading the Mail 

V is for Vince, shouting ‘Throw them in jail!’ 

W is Wally, who once punched a moose

X is a bloke shouting ‘Bring back the noose!’

Y is Yvonne, drowning cats in a lake 

Z is for Zainab who joined by mistake

Joshua Seigal