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Monday, 6 July 2020

a poem based on personal experience

ADHD

I open up a book and then
I read the same sentence again and again
I open up a book and then
I read the same sentence again and again
I open up a book and then
I think I’ll have pizza tonight.
I read the same sentence again and again
I open up a book and then
I read the same sentence again and again
I open up a book and then
I read the same sentence again and again
Hey look! There’s a butterfly!
I open up a book and then
I read the same sentence again and again
I open up a book and then
I read the same sentence again and again

Sunday, 5 July 2020

on the loss of my lockdown beard

OBEARDTUARY

So long then. Farewell. I’ll miss you my friend.
For multiple weeks you have clung to my face.
I have to move on and our union must end. 
The moment has come to unclasp our embrace. 

So long then. Adieu. I’ll miss you my chum. 
My wife says you’re scratchy and somewhat unkempt. 
I do what she says for I’m under her thumb
and she holds you, quite frankly, in utter contempt. 

But she doesn’t know you like I do, my sweet.
You’ve stood by my side through the toughest of times.
Without you, I fear, I will feel incomplete
but this life is unfair and the death knell, it chimes. 

Goodbye then. Godspeed. Sayonara and ciao. 
Yet don’t be downhearted; I rather foresee
though the clippers are out and it’s over for now
we’ll be meeting again in a fortnight or three.




Friday, 3 July 2020

POEM TO MARK THE REOPENING OF PUBS ON 04/06/20

SICKNESS

We’ll jostle Sickness in the queue
With Sickness we’ll consume a brew
Not one, not two, but quite a few
To the pub! To the pub! To the pub!

We’ll flirt with Sickness by the bar
Then order her a cheeky jar
“Oh Sickness, yer a fuckin’ star!”
To the pub! To the pub! To the pub!

We’ll dance with Sickness to the tunes
We’re free, at last, from our cocoons
We’ve longed for this for many moons
To the pub! To the pub! To the pub!

We’ll fight with Sickness in the street
We’ll puke with Sickness on concrete
Now life is normal! Life is sweet!
To the pub! To the pub! To the pub!

With Sickness we will share a cab
And all the way we’ll grope and grab
Then later on we’ll joust and jab
To the pub! To the pub! To the pub!

We’ll wake with Sickness in our beds
Emerge with Sickness in our heads
So pub tonight? Or home instead?
TO THE PUB! TO THE PUB! TO THE PUB!


Thursday, 2 July 2020

THE WRITE TO LIFE

This poet's left out in the cold.
Of doors there was a closure.
They took away his roof and clothes
and paid him in exposure.



Wednesday, 1 July 2020

'CATCHING UP' - poem for Gavin Williamson, Education Secretary

Well now. This new poem goes out to Williamson, Gove, Johnson, Adonis and all the men in suits who see fit to pontificate about children's education, especially during the time of the pandemic.


Tuesday, 30 June 2020

THE INTERNET IS WATCHING

It knows the times
you sleep and wake,
and when you work
or take a break,
and every choice
you ever make —
the internet is watching. 

It clocks the things
you say and do,
with prying eyes
it spies on you
and launches a
surveillance coup —
the internet is watching.

It tracks you with
its laser sight,
observing you
both day and night.
Forever trapped,
you can’t take flight —
the internet is watching. 

Its pincers poke
inside your brain;
You can’t opt out,
you can’t abstain,
so mind your step
and don’t complain —

the internet is watching.

Sunday, 28 June 2020

NEW POEM: W****RS ON THE BEACH

WANKERS ON THE BEACH

Wankers on the beach
They’re streaming in
Cheek to cheek
With peeling skin
Rammed and crammed
And jammed like hogs
Wobbling bellies
Screaming sprogs

Wankers on the beach
In all their glory
Clapping nurses
Voting Tory
Spreading germs
And leaving mess
Sun and stupor
Coalesce

Wankers on the beach
Don’t give a stuff
Sod all this
They’ve had enough
Fast and loose
And not complying
Seize the day?
They’re carpe die-ing.