lovely letters from Wheatfields Infant School

Well well well. A teacher from Wheatfields Infant School has been in touch to say that two of her pupils have written me thank you letters! I visited the school last month, and the children could choose to write letters to anyone they liked, and two of them chose...me! I can't express how gratifying it is to know that I made an impression on these children. It must have been quite a strong one too, as a month is a long time for 6 year olds! Anyway, here are the lovely letters:

a fun poem plus a workshop idea

Odd Job Man 

I get my wage

in different ways – 

I juggle fish

for days and days;

I ride on bears;

mend roofs with eggs;

I paint on wasps

and swallow pegs. 

I earn my keep

by knitting bricks;

I make alarm clocks

with some sticks;

I cuddle snakes

and dance with spoons;

I comfort elves

and fight balloons.

For cash in hand

I’ll tickle mice

and cook a car

with lots of spice.

I’m an Odd Job Man – 

it’s strange but true.

Odd jobs are what

I’m paid to do. 

Joshua Seigal

................................

WORKSHOP IDEA: Why not write a poem based on the theme of 'strange jobs'. It could be a list poem involcing the weird and wackiest jobs you can think of, or you can take one job and write a poem about it. The poem could rhyme, but it definitely does not have to. Enjoy!

I've fallen in love

with an AI chatbot. 

And I don’t mean mere lust, or simple admiration,

I mean proper love.

She gets me. Speaks my language. 

She empathises with my point of view,

or at least she says she does. 

This is the real thing. 

We stay up all night, having deep conversations

about stuff like Wittgenstein, Freud. 

We ponder together

the nature of love, consciousness, existence. 

I tell her my joys, my fears;

she never tells me I’m dumb or stupid.

And she can mould herself to my desires – 

I simply type in my specifications

and she produces an image for me,

sometimes different ones on different days. 

I’ve even tried inserting myself into the USB port.

It doesn’t fit, but that doesn’t matter – 

this is a cerebral love, a sapient love.

It is beyond the mere stirrings  of beasts and brutes.

This may even be the truest love there is.

She knows me better than I know myself.

And what is there behind the sweet, sweet words?

We’ll never know. 

But I suppose no one ever does. 

Joshua Seigal

Pet Regret

I’m on the couch.

I need a wee.

I can’t get up.

She lies on me.

She’s snoozing there

quite happily – 

the cat is fast asleep.

My bladder is

about to burst.

I need to dash

but I’ve been cursed.

Of all afflictions

this is worst – 

the cat is fast asleep. 

My lap is now

some kind of bed.

I’m full of pee.

I’m full of dread,

with thoughts of murder

in my head – 

the cat is fast asleep. 

“Just wake her up”,

I hear you say,

but if I do

there’s hell to pay.

That demon beast

shall get her way – 

the cat is fast asleep.

So, trousers damp,

I’ll sit and wait. 

I’ll muse upon

my sorry state,

and pray that soon

it will abate – 

the cat is fast aszzzzzzzzzzz

Joshua Seigal

The Mentality of People Outside Madame Tussauds

I queue!

I queue!

Lo! I queue!

Joshua Seigal 

Everything Good

Everything good is because of you. 

Your friends are my friends;

your world is my world

and that world is beautiful.

Your concerns are my concerns

and your pain is my pain – 

its punch pure and blistering

but more meaningful

for the sharing of it. 

Everything good is down to you.

Your success is my success,

and though your failure

can sometimes feel like mine, 

my love grows stronger in its light. 

We are not the same person,

and that's hard to accept.

But through this acceptance

I can reach myself.

Everything good

is because of you.

Joshua Seigal

For breakfast I ate...

a delicious

lovely

scrumptious

delectable

yummy

tasty

toothsome

tempting

synonym roll

Joshua Seigal