In a
world of commotions, emotions and feelings,
and other
such things that can leave a man reeling,
a bloke
likes to hope for some comfort and healing –
a space
to relax and unwind.
A place
to be safe from life’s ripples and eddies,
a place
that is faithful and constant and steady,
a place
where the pace isn’t hectic or heady –
a place
where you know what you’ll find...
SO COME
TO MAPLIN!
Come
sup at our table!
You know
where you are with a USB cable!
A lithium
battery won’t ever leave you!
A socket
adapter won’t cheat or deceive you!
YES COME
TO MAPLIN!
Rejoice
in our manor!
Forget your
divorce with a printer and scanner!
Your daughter’s
gone missing? Well, over you trundle –
come
blow all your woes on our motherboard bundle.
In here
there’s no tricksters or Machiavellis,
Just PC
components and oversized tellies,
and dual format soundbars, yes come fill your wellies
and pray
at our altar of light.
Our trained
Maplin chaplains, they know how to guide you.
So you have been let down and you have been lied to?
A broadband
extender flex will not deride you -
in Maplin
your future is bright.
YES COME
TO MAPLIN!
Be part
of our union!
Kneel down
in the pew of electric communion!
Your dad’s
had a stroke and your mum broke her hip?
Throw pain
down the drain with an LED strip.
OH COME
TO MAPLIN!
Be king
of the castle!
Come dress
all your stress in predictable parcels.
Come flatten
your feelings with MP3 players
at your best-loved high street electrics purveyors.
At MAPLIN
you’re cushty, you’re cuddled, you’re cared for,
so come
get some hand tools and fill up your man drawer.
With Vodafone dongles you won't have a tiff.
A Behringer microphone's never not stiff.
At MAPLIN
you’re safe now, the world’s in a lull.
A monitor
won’t call you ‘nerdy’ or ‘dull’.
A portable
speaker won’t steal your wife.
So come down to MAPLIN
and
feast
on your
life.
