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Thursday, 4 June 2020


We’ve seen all the platitudes,
tributes and snaps.
We’ve had all the updates
on various apps
but I’m sorry to venture
I think that, perhaps
your baby's unattractive.

I know that the wonder
of birth is delightful;
I really don’t want to 
be petty or spiteful,
but this time the specimen
truly is frightful:
your baby's unattractive.

Its head is all red
and its eyes are askew.
I know you’re besotted;
you kiss and you coo
but it seems that this creature
belongs in a zoo:
your baby's unattractive.

Everyone loves it
and everyone croons
but I cannot join in with
the simpers and swoons:
your beauteous offspring
looks like a baboon.
Your baby's unattractive.

Please don’t be livid.
Please don’t get mad.
I know it’s the best thing
that you’ve ever had
and I’ll always adore it
(because I’m its dad)
but our baby's unattractive.

1 comment:

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