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Tuesday, 16 October 2018


If you’re feeling rather blue, write a poem.
If you don’t know what to do, write a poem.
If you’re cast adrift and seasick
and you have no analgesic;
if you’re rendered quadriplegic,
write a poem.

If you’re trampled by a moose, write a sonnet.
If you’re hanging from a noose, write a sonnet.
If an inland taipan bit you,
if a baseball bat just hit you,
if a straightjacket restricts you,
write a sonnet.

If you’re floundering in debt, write a ballad.
if your bills cannot be met, write a ballad.
If the bailiffs come to call
and you have no cash at all
and you’re left with four bare walls,
write a ballad.

If you’ve shattered all your molars, write an ode.
if your gran has caught ebola, write an ode.
If life’s river has a dam in,
if your kosher soup has ham in,
if you’re dying in a famine,
Write an ode.

If you’re choking on some glass, write a haiku.
If you’ve cancer of the arse, write a haiku.
If you've crashed a helicopter,
someone hit your gran and crocked her,
you don't need to call the doctor:
write a haiku.

If your bones have turned to dust, write a poem.
If there’s no one left to trust, write a poem.
If your nation’s blown to pieces
and your life has turned to faeces
you don’t need to turn to Jesus:

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