For lots more exciting info about me, please go to my main home - www.joshuaseigal.co.uk

Friday, 20 January 2017

MAPLIN MAN

In a world of commotions, emotions and feelings,
and other such things that can leave a man reeling,
a bloke likes to hope for some comfort and healing –
a space to relax and unwind.

A place to be safe from life’s ripples and eddies,
a place that is faithful and constant and steady,
a place where the pace isn’t hectic or heady –
a place where you know what you’ll find...

SO COME TO MAPLIN!
Come sup at our table!
You know where you are with a USB cable!
A lithium battery won’t ever leave you!
A socket adapter won’t cheat or deceive you!

YES COME TO MAPLIN!
Rejoice in our manor!
Forget your divorce with a printer and scanner!
Your daughter’s gone missing? Well, over you trundle –
come blow all your woes on our motherboard bundle.

In here there’s no tricksters or Machiavellis,
Just PC components and oversized tellies,
and dual format soundbars, yes come fill your wellies
and pray at our altar of light.

Our trained Maplin chaplains, they know how to guide you.
So you have been let down and you have been lied to?
A broadband extender flex will not deride you -
in Maplin your future is bright.

YES COME TO MAPLIN!
Be part of our union!
Kneel down in the pew of electric communion!
Your dad’s had a stroke and your mum broke her hip?
Throw pain down the drain with an LED strip.

OH COME TO MAPLIN!
Be king of the castle!
Come dress all your stress in predictable parcels.
Come flatten your feelings with MP3 players
at your best-loved high street electrics purveyors.

At MAPLIN you’re cushty, you’re cuddled, you’re cared for,
so come get some hand tools and fill up your man drawer.
With Vodafone dongles you won't have a tiff.
A Behringer microphone's never not stiff.

At MAPLIN you’re safe now, the world’s in a lull.
A monitor won’t call you ‘nerdy’ or ‘dull’.
A portable speaker won’t steal your wife.
So come down to MAPLIN
and feast
on your life. 

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