What I Want for Christmas
Last
year I got a bicycle.
I rode
it for a while.
The
year before I got a phone
that
soon went out of style.
My
friends are getting football shirts
but I’m
less orthodox:
what I
want for Christmas
is a
lovely pair of socks...
fancy
socks, swanky socks,
dirty,
stinky, skanky socks,
teenage
brother’s manky socks,
Socks! Socks! Socks!
Stripy
socks, silly socks,
dainty
socks and frilly socks,
socks
for when I’m chilly socks,
Socks! Socks! Socks!
I used
to have a Batman suit
but I grew
out of it,
and
then I got a PS4
but
that’s a pile of... rubbish.
What
I’ve set my heart of now,
it
won’t be hard to finance;
what I
want for Christmas
is a
pair of mighty fine pants.
Tight
pants, stretchy pants,
beautiful
and fetching pants,
big pants,
pink pants,
Pants! Pants! Pants!
Loose
pants, saggy pants,
big and
beige and baggy pants,
pants
just like my granny has,
Pants! Pants! Pants!
My mum
has asked for flowers
and my
dad has asked for books,
but
when I say what I want
then I get
some funny looks.
You may
think I’m peculiar,
you may
think I’m offbeat,
but
what I want for Christmas
is a
brand-new toilet seat.
Shiny
ones, bold ones,
silver
ones and gold ones,
ruby
ones, diamond ones,
Toi! Let! Seats!
Flash
ones, cool ones,
sparkly
ones and jewelled ones,
like
they have at school ones
Toi! Let! Seats!
You may
well think I’m dumb
but
it’s where I put my bum,
so let
me have some fun
with a
brand
new
toi
let
seeeeeaaaaat!
